


under this sky we love

by softyananie



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, M/M, YERRR, ikea is mentioned, kiwon is not dead folks, this is sad don't be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 16:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15889839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyananie/pseuds/softyananie
Summary: Carefully, the tip of his pen traced phrases that would soon become a stable rock in the midst of darkness. Phrases of love and encouragement were among those written, for in grief, these could be a hopeful reminder of his undying love. "And I promise," it began, "like the sun, my love for you will shine brightly, powerfully, and vivid, and more importantly, it remains constant. Let's not forget this, my love."





	under this sky we love

_And you, Kang Hyunggu, will forever, and always be, the love of my life, until my days are no longer counting. My heart is only for you, and only you. With that, I will gratefully become yours, together in this bond of matrimony. I do._

 

He blinks once, and his mind subconsciously slips out of its daydream, causing him to further groan and sink further into the couch pillows. He burrows as deep as he can, until one pillow simply resists the pressure it's under and pops up, landing on Shinwon's face. Another hefty groan is let out, but he lets the pillow be, too defeated to even bother. His thoughts slowly slip back into its former state, thinking of happier times; at least, happier than now.

 

_Where did it go wrong?_

 

He really doesn't have an answer. It's not the first time he's been in this position, sulking over past mistakes and regrets, further contemplating actions that might express his remorse. It is most definitely not the first time, he concedes, and it won't be the last, he  _knows_. He obviously knows a day from now, he'll be in the same position, physically and emotionally. But he refuses to quit, not until he discovers a way to counteract. 

 

_But how?_

 

He hasn't a clue. The situation itself confuses several, Shinwon included. Of course, he's tried thinking it out, several times in fact, but it often leads to the same conclusion, which means having to put up with Hyunggu. He doesn't oppose it, not one bit, but there are some nights when he's this close to throwing in the towel. Dealing with Hyunggu's rage requires a lot of patience; Shinwon had to mentally remind himself to not call it quits when Hyunggu nearly knocks him out and threatens to trash his McDonalds coupons. He remains patient with Hyunggu, and tells himself it's for Hyunggu's sake. For Hyunggu's sake, he mentally exhales. He still loves Hyunggu lots, and Hyunggu does too, even in his fit of rage. 

 

Even if it is for Hyunggu's sake, he also wants to think for his own sake. He really wants to save his own hide. Selfish, he scorns himself, but it is well-needed when he reminds himself of what he's dealing with. Hyunggu is like a mini devil, and Shinwon's mind can easily depict what it would look like, and he's giggled to himself more than once with the thought. But Hyunggu really is like a mini devil, Shinwon has to admit, and dealing with him is harder than expected at times. Several alternatives have been concocted, but well, none of them worked. So far, at least. 

 

It would be easier on Shinwon if he had some help, specifically from his own partner, but he faces an obstacle with that: he can't exactly consult Hyunggu. The young man doesn't remember events of the night; his exhaustion leading to erasure of his activities. Shinwon discovered this the morning following their honeymoon start, and briefly stated that Hyunggu forgot due to his anger, which resulted in exhaustion. And one thing Shinwon distinctly pointed out, was that Hyunggu  _really_ exerts himself. They both agreed that it made sense when Hyunggu didn't know why Shinwon had a black eye, or he didn't remember breaking a string on Shinwon's guitar. But in the end, they knew all was forgiven. 

 

Aside from forgiveness, there is planning to be done, and there's a specific area where Shinwon plans. 

 

The dingy sofa in the back corner of the living room is essentially Shinwon's base of operations; that, and Hyunggu is an exceptionally greedy sleeper (and their guest bed remains untouched, save for guests, as the name suggests). His nights are spent there; his only cuddle buddy are the disarranged sofa pillows. He eats here, (not really, since things become civil by morning, unless one has an early morning shift, then they can't talk or else the area between the kitchen and living room becomes the center of world war 3), but more importantly, he schemes here. The atmosphere, he says with absolute pride (and dignity), is perfect for coming up with perfect solutions to their... little (big and excruciating) situation. 

 

There's a series of ideas Shinwon manages to come up with, some of which seemed to work, others... didn't quite meet the same fate. His first idea suggested they drink in order to fix their issues (as if that'd help), but the next morning, Shinwon awoke a severe hangover, the kitchen floor littered in glass (probably from beer bottles) and a dick drawn on his face. Maybe Hyunggu actually enjoyed his little artwork, but it didn't seem the right path to go. A few weeks following the incident, Shinwon was tempted to head to IKEA and purchase a sun-shaped chandelier to hang in their bedroom, but the night they wanted to test it out, the power went out and the chandelier.. was no longer a sun, just a circle with shattered edges. His last attempt was tying Hyunggu to the bed and sleeping, but Hyunggu angrily rejected and his attempt to thrash free resulted in harsh burns in his wrists which stung for weeks. That was a month ago, and Shinwon lives in the misery of not knowing what the fuck (excuse his potty mouth) to do. 

 

To put it simply, he's stuck. Stuck with no new area to explore (experiment if you will) or idea to test, simply living each day in a continuous cycle of push and pull, give and take, suffer and inflict. 

 

To think, it began during a happy time, but now it's almost as if it's a curse. 

 

 They were a happy pair, on the verge of extending their emotional bonds with each other (marriage, for those who don't understand the horrible wording), ready to take the next step. And they did. Their marriage was a success, they were happy, there was a sappy kiss to officiate it all, and most importantly, they were trodding into new territories, and for now, they were safe. It was a happy time, and satisfying to say the least.

Little did they know it would get worse.

 

The night of their marriage was spent apart, each sleeping in a different section of the plane (Shinwon could actually afford it), so there was no issue.

 

The next night was a different story. While Shinwon didn't receive physical abuse, he received an onslaught of verbal abuse from none other than Ko Hyunggu's big mouth himself. Shinwon had to endure the night, turning whatever he was listening to up to the highest volume, hoping to drown out the complaints of his newlywed before dozing off.

 

The second night of their honeymoon was a bit more tragic for Mr. Shinwon. He managed to escape the bedroom unscathed, save for a few scratches Hyunggu inflicted himself, Shinwon swore to himself they would never get a cat.

 

That night, Shinwon slept on the floor (thankfully he snagged a blanket before running away), gazing up at the ceiling, his emotions a mixture of irritation and concern. Of course, it wasn't his fault, or Hyunggu's; it was just the situation they were in.

 

Under the burning sun their vows were made, and by nightfall that vow was eradicated, each bickering with the other, as if their vows were null and void. And in a way, they were. When the sun sets, so do the vows. Shinwon got the gist, and each knew what they were getting themselves into.

 

It was only a matter of time, he thought.

 

Return to present Shinwon, who resides on a couch and lives with a devil. Not too bad, he thinks.

 

Shinwon really pushes himself to find a solution, though he comes to a dead end in the first few days. Library books don't really help with this crazy situation (plus, they're so boring), and the internet has wild scenarios, but none of them really apply to his current dilemma. One day, he'll find something, he knows it.

 

And he does. Hyunggu is out for the day (and night, Shinwon sighs in relief), and Shinwon decides to treat himself, by staying home and eating all the ice cream in the fridge. He settles for a small portion of the tub, and casually seats himself on (his) couch to watch tv, specifically Netflix. After all, Hyunggu always hogs the remote, so Shinwon deserves a turn.

 

Going through the shows and movies available, nothing really appeals to Shinwon's current taste. I mean, who watches something called To All The- Shinwon clicks on it, somehow intrigued by it.

 

Writing letters, he scoffs to himself. It's a puny idea, he thinks, you could just type it.

 

But it dawns on him. Perhaps he could do the same for Hyunggu?

 

He manages to salvage an old notebook, flipping to the cleanest page, and clicks an ink pen as if to test, and begins writing.

 

Carefully, the tip of his pen traced phrases that would soon become a stable rock in the midst of darkness. Phrases of love and encouragement were among those written, for in grief, these could be a hopeful reminder of his undying love. "And I promise," it began, "like the sun, my love for you will shine brightly, powerfully, and vivid, and more importantly, it remains constant. Let's not forget this, my love."

 

He smiles to himself at his masterpiece. It's rather cheesy, but it will work.

 

The days pass, and Shinwon writes continuous notes of affection to Hyunggu, but never showing him. He's really following the plot, if I do say so myself. The notebook slowly fills with multiple notes, scrawled in Shinwon's chicken-like handwriting. Shinwon's mighty proud of himself, if he does say so himself.

 

And the nights continue as normal; Shinwon going directly to bed in the living room to avoid Hyunggu's gaze and loud mouth. For once, it's quiet. But of course, the story has to have an ending somewhere.

 

Shinwon finally fills his little notebook with his notes to Hyunggu. There's a big smile plastered on his face that day, and he can't wait to show Hyunggu. Wait. It's 7:30. He can't show Hyunggu right now...

 

or can he?

 

Shinwon decides to barge (casually enter) into (it's supposed to be their) Hyunggu's bedroom, and Shinwon really has bad timing. Hyunggu is caught off guard, his shirt half removed as he's readying for bed, but pauses as he hears the bedroom door slam (creak) open. He turns around, and Shinwon, shakily clutching his notebook, notes the way Hyunggu's brows furrow, a sure sign he's going to say something to fight. And he does.

 

“Why are you here? You know this is MY bedroom.”

 

“I.. have something for you,” Shinwon's voice cracks, his hands trembling as they clutch the notebook.

 

“Oh?” Hyunggu almost sneers, taking a step closer to Shinwon. One arm raises, and Shinwon instinctively flinches, his eyes closed shut and his hands fly in front, as if to guard. The thing is, Shinwon forgot he was clutching the notebook. But he also doesn't feel the impact of Hyunggu's fist... anywhere. He cracks an eye open and sees his own hands, trembling, holding the notebook which is opened in half. And Hyunggu...

 

He's standing there, fist in the air, something he's never done. Shinwon is more than surprised, and Hyunggu continues that by taking another step forward, but no harm is inflicted. Just when Shinwon thinks Hyunggu is going to land a direct blow, his eyes automatically close and his arms thrust even farther, the book spread wide open for Hyunggu to read, he doesn't.

 

Instead, he feels two hands, one gripping each of his wrists. His eyes slowly open to see a sight: Hyunggu's eyes are brimmed with tears, and his hands grip his lover's tighter. His eyes are focused on the book, as if he's... reading.

 

Shinwon feels something prick his heart. Tears begin to slowly flood his own eyes as he watches Hyunggu sink to the floor, his hands still retaining their firm grip on Shinwon's wrists. Hyunggu's head is bowed, uncontrollable sobs rattling his body. It's a true sight to behold, it really is.

 

But Shinwon can't just watch, he also feels and reciprocates. Soon enough, he's kneeling down with Hyunggu, sobs whacking his own body. In their silence, there's this mutual understanding that there's no turmoil between them, and Shinwon takes this opportunity to press their foreheads together, their breaths slowing to mere hiccups and sniffles.

 

Between the hiccups, sniffles, and sobs, Hyunggu manages to breathe out his feelings, “No matter... what.. my love for you, is forever. No matter what we're... going through, I will always.. always love you. My love for you is..”

 

and Shinwon continues, “like the sun... my love.. for you will shine brightly, powerfully, and vivid.”

 

Together, they finish, “and more importantly, it remains constant.”

**Author's Note:**

> 180903 - hewwo this is author-nim lei uvu this writing was actually the outcome of a twitter poll i had [insert specified link which i expectantly don't have]. feel free to yell at me on twitter @softyananie


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